Mystical Moon: Art Imitates Life

From a young age, I was always creating. My mediums included wood, nails, Play-Doh, crayons and coloring books. Maybe it was inspired by PBS and the shows I watched–like Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross. They were my daily inspiration. I wasn’t raised in a artistic household. I was very imaginative even though my environment was less than stimulating (for instance AM radio was the jam station in my house.) Never the less, I always wanted to be creating art on some level— this, I do remember.

My creativity starts with a concept/inspirational thought or experience. Because I am a water sign, these inspirations naturally flow. My creative abilities are definitely a Cancer trait. As a Cancerian with Aries rising, I’m “watery” and emotional; meanwhile, Aries is a fire sign. This water and fire combination seems conflicting, but it is a complimentary balance (most of the time.)

I will spare you the details, but I have always had a a strained relationship with my parents. After not speaking for over 20 years, I decided maybe growth and forgiveness were the next steps for our silent relationship. I am a really stubborn person. For this meeting to even occur was huge for me. This meeting was almost a year ago now. My father and I were to meet for a morning chat. What I thought could be a turning point towards a disconnected relationship, turns out to be great timing [he thought] for an unexpected, emotional attack. The discussion started out surprisingly awkward. Then escalated to a heated tone with the next words: “You think you’re better than me. You’re just a shit artist!”

My response: “you think I am an artist?” “I guess I am an artist?” In that moment it dawned on me, I have never said those words aloud to myself  “I am an artist.” I was surprised to discover that my blood, doesn’t really know me at all. This helped me recognize that I am going to be perceived a certain way, and there is nothing I can do.

My parents have never shown any interest in personal growth or betterment. Their lessons are stuck on “repeat.” I haven’t spoken to them since this realization. Even though I’ve worked on this resentment and hurt for an entire lifetime, I have accepted they can’t show me love, acceptance, or good will, because these struggles are present within themselves. It’s up to me to embrace the shifts and changes within myself to continue my growth. As we all know, we can’t change anybody, no matter how hard we try. This toxic relationship has actually helped me to be the person I am today. It’s sometimes a struggle knowing my family will never be what I want or need. As a Cancer this is the most tragic heart break of my life.

I have endured and persevered. All I will say about this heart-breaking acceptance is that it’s up to me/you to work through these difficulties. Creativity has always helped me stay positive through it all. To have the courage to work through the darkest of times– re-channeling the negative through my creativity. All forms of artistic expression are crucial for individuals and inspiring others is the key.

I am a dynamic light–constantly changing and improving everyday– regardless of my past. I am never the same from one day to the next. I encourage you to try something new for yourself, maybe even something that terrifies you. This will only help you improve upon tackling doubts and fears when lessons happen. I believe we all have creativity and creative abilities within you/us.

Gratitude & Growth

Mystical Moon

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